Every Breath You Take
by Miss Peg
Summary: COMPLETE / Katie Fitch is a *****, everyone knows it, but no one knows why. Slight AU.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author Note**_**: I am what you may be able to call a serial fic writer. Lol. I do have a massive assignment due in a week on Friday so it may take me a short while to actually update this story depending on how much work I get done before the end of this week. This idea came to me randomly...enjoy!**

_**Disclaime**_**r: I don't own Skins...I do own Meg and half of Lily/Kaya though, pity I had to share the other half of Lily/Kaya and the whole of Kat with vix844. :-(**

Katie Fitch was a bitch; that's what everyone thought, that's what her sister thought and that's what all her friend's thought. At first it bothered her, but after a while it was what she wanted them to think. It was better than letting them know the real her. Katie Fitch was a bitch on the outside. But what nobody knew was that on the inside she didn't want to be a bitch, she didn't want to put on a mask every day and she didn't want to cry herself to sleep every night.

"Get up Katie, we're gonna be fucking late,"

Opening her tired eyes she groaned to her twin, trying to remember hazy moments of the night before. It was hard to think through the fog inside her brain. It was self-inflicted and for that she didn't expect sympathy.

"I don't feel well," she groaned.

"Yeah, well, we all had a drink last night Katie," Emily snapped, "You shouldn't have challenged Cook of all people to down shots,"

"I didn't?" she questioned, resting a hand against her throbbing forehead.

Bits and pieces from the night flooded her mind. She attempted to push the worst of it aside.

"You did and you kissed him too," Emily informed her.

Katie's attempt to hide from the events of the night before failed. A strong smell spread through her memories, she could almost taste it on her tongue. A mixture of alcohol and tobacco. She could feel the touch of fingers on her arms, running along her collar bone. She shook her head, attempting once again to push the thoughts aside.

"Fucking hurry up," Emily snapped again, pulling back Katie's duvet.

Grappling for the bed sheets to cover her half naked body, Katie clung to the material in front of her, "Don't fucking do that."

"You're going to make us late," Emily cried.

"Then go, leave me alone, I'm not going."

With a groan and a muttered response to "stop drinking so much on college nights and clean up this fucking mess", Emily left the room. Clutching the bed sheets tighter around her chest, Katie felt a shiver run down her spine. The physical memory of Cook's fingers on her lower back feeling all too real. She pushed the covers away, slipped into her dressing gown and turned on the CD player. The thumping of her headache worsened as the sound of some Indie band that Emily liked came on loudly. It hurt. But she didn't care. She climbed back into bed and closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her; focusing on the words and the melody in an attempt to push everything out of her mind.

"You want it as much as I do,"

Cook's voice crashed through the musical interlude. She tried harder to ignore his voice, line after line of his words pushing her back into the night before. That distinct smell of alcohol and tobacco hitting the back of her throat with full force. She knew it was all in her mind, but it felt so real. A lump formed in her throat, which Katie attempted to swallow to avoid tears slipping from her eyes. No, she wasn't going to cry. She wasn't going to give in to one thing that could so easily send her into a flood of tears, or worse.

"FUCK OFF!" she screamed, throwing the bed covers off her body and turning the volume control until the room was filled entirely by Keane.

Listening to the words of the unfamiliar song, letting the words flow through her, Katie took deep breaths. The smell lingered on her senses for too long, until the music overtook her brain's other functions and allowed her to focus on the words that she began to sing along.

"I wake up, it's a bad dream, No one on my side, I was fighting. But I just feel too tired."

*

*

*

"Have you been in here all day?" Emily shouted, turning off the CD player.

It took a few minutes for Katie's ears to readjust to the lack of sound. The lyrics to 'She Moves In Her Own Way' repeated in her head. She noted the pain in her head had gone, which barely made up for the loss of her day.

"Fucking Hell Katie," Emily snapped, picking up sheets and clothes from the floor. "I thought you'd at least clean up this fucking room,"

"Whatever," she groaned, rolling over and pulling the bedcovers over her head.

"Don't think you can hide away, you're fucking hung over and you can't even find five minutes to clean up your mess," Emily retorted, "The last time I had the flu I tidied this whole room."

Emily's complaints went in one ear and out of the other. The bed sheets covering her head enough to drown out the full sound of Emily's words. She didn't normally ignore her sister, then again she was normally ordering her around. But today she didn't feel like doing anything. She didn't want to bully her, she didn't want to make demands, she didn't even want to talk to her.

**AN: FACT; I love reviews. So feel free to make me love you for being a reviewer...**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author Note**_**: Thanks for the reviews...this next chapter is a bit more into the sexiness, but I hope you enjoy it. It's really going to push the storyline along.**

_**Disclaime**_**r: I don't own Skins...I do own Meg and half of Lily/Kaya though, pity I had to share the other half of Lily/Kaya and the whole of Kat with vix844. :-(**

Katie Fitch attracted boys. It wasn't a question, it was fact. Walking down the corridors at college, heads would turn, all male eyes on her. All female eyes watched too, but with jealousy and loathing. She didn't plan to be the one all the boys watched; the one all the girls hated. That was just how it ended up.

"Alright Katiekins, you wan' a repeat of the other night?" Cook asked, following her down the corridor towards her history lesson.

"Not even if you paid me," she muttered, rolling her eyes as she continued walking.

"Aww, but you and me make sense babe, you're hot, I'm hot, what more can you ask for?"

"Someone who isn't a cock?" she suggested, turning to face him with a grin on her face.

She knew he was insatiable and that any hint of possibility would only make him want her more. She hated Cook. She hated his sleazy ways. But she craved his attention. Holding up an empty water bottle she let it fall to the floor, before bending down, making sure Cook had full view as she retrieved it from the floor. They both knew it wasn't an accident.

"You're killing me here, babe," he moaned, cupping the front of his trousers with two hands and rearranging his crotch.

"I'll see you later Cook," Katie muttered, walking off as he shouted after her.

"The club tonight, eight o'clock, don't be late."

*

*

*

The twins walked in side by side, much to Emily's disapproval. Katie always made sure they walked into a room full of possible suitors together. She knew that showing off her twin status would have all of the men eating out of the palm of her hand. Within seconds a couple of guys had approached and after a few suggestions, Emily muttered something and disappeared off through the crowds.

"Sorry about her, she's gay you know, not really interested in guys," Katie informed them.

The look in their eyes, she knew she'd said the right thing. They wanted her more now. But she just gave them a smile and walked towards the bar.

"I'll have a…" she began to order, when the rough sound of Cook's voice interrupted.

"Six shots; three for me and three for the lady," he demanded, "If you can call her that."

Raising an eyebrow, Katie accepted the shots and downed them within minutes. Normally she didn't accept drinks from Cook, but the first drink of the night didn't matter too much. Her head was already buzzing from the effect of alcohol. She thanked Cook and disappeared into the crowd, letting unfamiliar hands run down her sides as she danced with strangers.

*

*

*

"You gonna fuck me or what?" Cook asked, pulling her close.

Katie's head was clouding over, the effect of the alcohol sending her body into a dazed, but happy mood. She wrapped her arms around Cook's neck and they swayed to the music. She pressed herself up against him, forcing his excitement. His hands ran down her sides, until one slid across her thigh and back up the inside of her leg.

"Fuck off," she snapped, hitting his hand out of the way and walking to the side of the dance floor. But Cook was Cook and he didn't let up easily.

"Come on baby, just a quick willy waggle, you know you want to,"

The wall hit her back as Cook's mouth pressed against her lips. She could taste the alcohol and tobacco he'd consumed. The pungent smell that left her shaking. It made her want to push him away, to get away from the smell that made her feel physically weak. But she didn't move. She had to stay, she had to breath in that scent. It was her punishment. She hated Cook, she'd always hated Cook. But she let his hands move up the inside of her leg as he pushed his excitement against her.

"Fuck," he gasped.

It took seconds for him to release the button on his trousers, his face inches from her neck. She was going to be fucked by Cook. It was going to happen. But she didn't want it. As much as she liked to tease him. She didn't want to go further than a kiss and a fondle. So she pushed him away.

"Bitch," he snapped, "What'd you do that for?"

She gasped, "I'm not going to fuck you Cook."

"You fucking tease, you know you want me, I know you want me, so let's just do it," Cook groaned, "Fucking making me hard without letting me put my finger in the pie, you can fuck off, I'm getting my pie tonight."

"No." Katie snapped, trying to stay strong in her words, but her ice was melting as his words sunk in. She was a tease, she had always been a tease. This was her punishment.

"Come on babe," Cook muttered, holding her against the wall again, "Let's me and you party like it's 1999."

She didn't want to do it. She didn't want to let him fuck her. But this was her punishment. Her head fell back against the wall, that pungent smell running through her senses. Hands traced the lines already etched on her thighs from previous conquests, pulling her closer to Cook, pulling them together. She didn't want him there, she didn't want to feel his skin against hers, or that disgusting smell on her breath. But this was her punishment and there was nothing she could do about it.

**AN: FACT; 105 people read the last chapter, only 3 reviews...you do the math. Review anyone???**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author Note**_**: Thanks sooo much for all of the reviews, you know I appreciate them all, like I haven't told people enough, lol. It's interesting to know what you think of the story and what is happening. This chapter was quite difficult to write at the start, but gradually it got easier and I'm pretty happy with it, so I hope you enjoy it.**

_**Disclaime**_**r: I don't own Skins...I do own Meg and half of Lily/Kaya though, pity I had to share the other half of Lily/Kaya and the whole of Kat with vix844. :-(**

The bed covers usually kept Katie warm, but when the bedroom door opened a painful chill hit her body, creating goose bumps. The covers shifted under the weight of someone sitting down on the side of the bed, a pungent smell of tobacco and alcohol thick in the air. Flashes of skin on skin invaded her mind; stolen touches and unwanted advances. Thoughts, feelings, tastes mixed up inside her head. She couldn't make sense of it. She knew her memories were fuelling the thoughts, but she couldn't piece together the sections.

"You're a tease Katie,"

Voices echoed and she couldn't tell if it was one voice speaking or multiple. Her eyes were firmly shut, her sleep-ridden body barely taking in everything around her. Fingers stroked her cheek, tickling her skin with coarse tips. The touch moved down her body, slipping under the rim of her underwear as she slept.

"No, I don't want this!" she called out, opening her eyes, reaching out to push the hands from her body.

But when she sat up, panting from a sense of panic, she realised the room was empty. The only other person was sleeping in the bed parallel to her own. Wet tears rolled down her face and her body shook. She didn't want to cry. She didn't want to feel like her whole world was falling apart. It hurt to think about what she'd done, what had happened. But she couldn't stop herself.

"Katie?" a small voice whispered from across the room. She glanced up through teary eyes to find Emily looking at her.

"I'm fine," she muttered, wiping her eyes.

But Emily wasn't convinced as she climbed out of bed and sat down beside her sister. Katie flinched when Emily's fingers reached around her shoulders.

"No, you're not," Emily noted, pulling her arm away.

"I am," Katie tried again, attempting to convince herself as much as Emily.

Emily sighed, "I know you Katie."

Sure her twin sister knew her. She knew that she'd sprained her ankle when she did gym in year nine. She knew she'd had the chicken pox twice in primary school. She even knew that she'd kissed a student teacher who quit his job because he liked her too much. But she didn't know that she'd twisted her own ankle in an attempt to stay home to avoid school, or that she played up the chicken pox to stay off longer than she should have. Nor did she know that she'd had sex with the student teacher in the art room. Emily knew her sister, but she didn't know everything.

"You know fuck all," Katie snapped, not caring to bite her tongue as the words came out fiercely.

Emily sounded hurt, "I just want to help."

"You can help me by fucking off," she mumbled, wiping fresh tears that fell down her cheeks.

Something else Emily didn't know, was that the one thing Katie needed was someone to comfort her, even if she pushed them away.

"What the hell happened to you?" Emily asked, climbing back into her own bed. "You seemed fine before we went to the club."

Fine was a broad word. To everyone Katie had appeared fine. But she wasn't. She was never fine. Fine was living a happy life, fulfilled by relationships and security. Katie wasn't fine and she doubted that she ever would be.

"I fucked Cook, alright?" Katie snapped, waiting for her sister's reaction.

"You did what?"

Katie sighed, "Well I let him fuck me."

"Why did you do that?" Emily asked, a judgement in her eyes.

Shrugging her shoulders, Katie muttered, "Felt like it, didn't really want to though,"

Emily's brow furrowed, a mixture of shock and confusion in her eyes. Katie watched her sister decide what she thought had happened.

"You didn't want to? Did you tell him that?" Emily asked, checking the facts.

"At first, but then I let him."

"So he knew you didn't want it?" Emily asked further questioning the event.

Tears returned to Katie's eyes. She didn't want to look so helpless in front of the one person she had always hidden the truth from. To Emily she was the overshadowing twin who cared little about her feelings. Katie never showed her that she was more vulnerable than Emily had ever been. Her twin returned to her side, wrapping her arms around her body in much needed comfort. Katie pushed her face into Emily's shoulder and let out the sobs that fell.

"I," she whispered, words she'd longed to say on the tip of her tongue. But they wouldn't fall from her lips.

"Katie, I'm going to ask you one more time, Cook knew you didn't want it, didn't he? Did he take advantage of you?"

The words entered her ears, taking a moment to process. Take advantage? She wanted to nod her head. But she knew it wasn't the truth. She'd let him. No matter if she'd wanted it, she had let him have sex with her. She felt a need for redemption build inside of her chest, but she couldn't quite find the words to punish Cook for something she knew wasn't his fault.

"No, I let it happen, it was my fault," Katie snapped, "I just let it get too far."

**AN: Ever sent a review before? I love them, I love to write them and I love to recieve them...if you're not sure if you'll review, think about whether you'd like to recieve reviews if you wrote a story. :-)**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author Note**_**: Thanks soooo much for the reviews, they're so lovely to read, they really are.**

**My speed of updates - to be honest I wasn't supposed to be writing this fic until next week, but I finished an assignment yesterday, so I decided to take today off and that is why I've been fic-ing like mad. Plus, I'm enjoying writing it and I'm very motivated!**

**Yoho-ahoy! - Thanks a lot for the review, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty! I just thought I'd point out the difference in reviews to readers, but I really do appreciate your comments and I'm feeling very bittersweet about the end of Closer too!**

_**Disclaime**_**r: I don't own Skins...I do own Meg and half of Lily/Kaya though, pity I had to share the other half of Lily/Kaya and the whole of Kat with vix844. :-(**

The cool, bubbly liquid splashed down her throat, forcing her mouth to tingle from the carbon dioxide in the fizz. The shot of vodka was working it's magic, creating a buzz that made Katie sublimely happy. She looked around the table at her friends, the people who supposedly knew her better than anyone. There was a mixture of nearing silence and the tapping of fingers against a mobile phone as Pandora kept in contact with her absent boyfriend.

"This place is fucking dead," Cook pointed out, finishing off his pint of beer and quickly moving on to a second.

"I told you we should have gone to the club," Effy muttered, sitting back against her seat.

"How about a good old drinking game to warm the genitalia?" Cook suggested, holding his pint to his lips and letting the liquid travel down his throat until he slammed the empty glass onto the table.

There was a chorus of replied from the group, "No."

Katie watched her twin sister whispering to the blonde beside her. Since Emily came out, Katie had been more of a bitch to her. She didn't want to be. But she hated seeing Emily so happy. She loved her sister, more than she could even put into words. But when she saw her whispering sweet nothings to her girlfriend, she saw red. Feeling the familiar pangs of anger building inside, she looked up at the group.

"How about truth or dare?" she proposed, then wished she'd never spoken when several pairs of eyes frowned at her.

Except for Cook, who's eyes lit up, "Yeah! Good one Katiekins."

"Isn't that a bit high school?" Naomi suggested, sharing a cheeky smile with Emily.

Cook shook his head, "Nah, it can be way more fun than at school, there's way less boundaries, ain't there."

The group came to a consensus and Cook took control of the game as he explained the rules that everyone had come across multiple times.

"One final rule," he grinned, "Anything goes."

*

*

*

"I really don't want to do this," JJ muttered to Cook.

The group watched him standing in front of them all, his hands resting on the lowered zip of his jeans. Katie felt bad for him. He wasn't as confident as Cook, but with Cook's brain, the dares that he came up with were beyond JJ's confidence level.

"Get your fucking pants down," Cook demanded.

Looking like a scared schoolboy doing something he knew was going to make everyone laugh at him, JJ quickly lowered his trousers. The whispers and general chit-chat died down as the group stared at JJ.

"Fucking Hell," Freddie cried out.

"What's wrong?" JJ asked, pulling his trousers back up, "It's wonky isn't it? It's not normal? The shape is all wrong, the length, it's too long, isn't it? Jesus, Fucking, Titty, Wank."

The embarrassed JJ sat back down in his seat, covering his face in his hands. The group stayed silent as JJ calmed himself.

"There's nothing wrong," Freddie assured JJ, who was shaking like a leaf in the wind.

JJ's mind wasn't eased by Freddie's words, "There must be, why else would you all stop talking?"

"It's fucking massive JJ," Pandora grinned, before frowning, a slight embarrassed look in her eyes, "Not that I looked."

The group went silent again, until Freddie piped up, "Katie, your turn, truth or dare?"

She considered her options carefully. Cook had chosen the last three dares, each of which were physically humiliating. So she went with the odds and chose a truth. The group took a few moments to think up a question, before Effy finally asked.

"Have you ever fantasised about having sex with a teacher?"

"What a load of crap," Cook muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Have you ever had sex with a teacher?" Effy muttered, changing the question, which led to Cook's approval.

All eyes were on Katie. She didn't want to answer because she didn't want to admit the truth in front of Emily. But she couldn't lie. She was very good at avoiding the truth, but when someone asked outright, it was easier said than done.

"Yes," she replied.

In contrast to JJ's silence, the group started asking questions and muttered amongst themselves, questions and theories passing between the group.

"What teacher? How old were you?" Naomi asked.

"He was a student teacher, I was fourteen,"

Katie glanced at Emily, searching for a response in her eyes. But her usually readable twin was keeping a straight face. Everyone continued to file questions at Katie, who attempted to answer them as best as she could. When the fuss had died down Emily finally opened her mouth.

"I thought you lost your virginity when you were fifteen," she complained, a hint of hurt in her voice, "You told me you were fifteen."

The room had fallen silent. Katie was avoiding looking at her sister. She didn't want to respond to her query, she didn't want to be sat there with Emily's eyes boring a hole in the side of her head. She'd said too much and now she was left to pick up the pieces. But she couldn't find the words.

"Fucking hell," Cook laughed, his chuckles ringing through Katie's ears, "Naughty Katie, how old were you when you popped your cherry?"

It was a simple question really. One that she wouldn't have minded answering if Emily wasn't sat beside her. She could feel the disapproval and the disappointment radiating off her. She was upset, betrayed by Katie's secrets. It hurt to think that Emily was hurting.

"Twelve."

Avoiding looking anyone in the eye as the silence continued, Katie could tell that Emily was uncomfortable. She watched her sisters hands move about, slipping across Naomi's hand and back across to her own knees. Then she stood up and Katie finally looked to her. They shared a glance, no words needed as Katie saw the betrayed look in her twin's eyes. Naomi stood up too and followed Emily out of the pub, a few muttered goodbyes as they went.

**AN: Thanks for reading...you know what to do next...if you don't, then why not leave a comment and ask me?!**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author Note**_**: What can I say? This story is really making me want to write it. I'm struggling with making the chapters a reasonable length, but then they just take over and I have to stop them, lol.**

**Thanks for the reviews, so so so much!!!**

_**Disclaime**_**r: I don't own Skins...I do own Meg and half of Lily/Kaya though, pity I had to share the other half of Lily/Kaya and the whole of Kat with vix844. :-(**

The bedroom was quiet. Katie tiptoed across the room, dropping her bag carefully by the door. She stopped beside Emily's bed, watching her sleep. It had been a long time since she'd last watched her sister's slumber. She didn't know why she did it. But it felt comforting to see her sister content with her relaxation. Emily always had been a good sleeper. Pangs of guilt and regret bubbled up inside Katie's chest, mixed with hatred. She didn't want Emily to be mad at her, but it was her own fault. She didn't want to hate her, but the line between love and hate was so thin.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, kissing her sister's cheek.

Tears stung her face, clinging to her skin as they travelled down her cheeks. She wondered how she'd kept the tears in for so long. For years she'd held back, pushed her thoughts aside. But they always hovered on the surface, ready to come up for air whenever she let her guard down.

"Night," she mumbled into the dark room.

Climbing under the covers fully clothed, Katie lay on her back staring up at the white ceiling. Focusing in on the darkness above her face, that pungent smell of alcohol and tobacco filled her nose. It incensed her. It did more than that, it broke her fragile self in two every single time. She wondered how there was anything left of her heart. The tears turned to sobs and she rolled onto her side, curling up into the foetal position in an attempt to feel safer in her own bed.

*

*

*

The bed covers shifted under the weight of someone sitting down, the pungent smell of tobacco and alcohol lingered in the air. Katie felt deja-vu. She'd been there before. She knew it wasn't the first time. It didn't take her long to realise that it was a dream. A nightmare that had invaded her head for the last few nights. She knew it was a dream, but it didn't make it easier. Fingertips brushed her skin, touching her cheek and moving across her lips. She'd worn a high-cut top to the pub, but as the fingers travelled down she saw that her clothes were gone and her underwear was the one thing between herself and the hand.

"You're just a tease," the rough voice moaned.

Breathing tickled her neck, a face so close she could reach out and touch it. But she was scared, too scared to lift her hands. Her body reacted to the touch, even though she fought against it. The betrayal of her body sickened her. A person was meant to control their actions, but her actions were controlling her body.

"I know you want this as much as I do."

The dream was lasting longer than the last time. Stolen touches covered her body, slipping her underwear aside to allow for closer inspection. The bed moved as the weight shifted further and she felt two knees against the covers on either side of her.

"No," she groaned, "I don't, I don't."

Two hands reached for her shoulders, causing her to jump at the touch and her eyes locked onto the piercing brown pupils of her twin sister. She gasped, sobs falling from her shaking body. The two familiar hands of Emily wrapped around her, pulling her closer until Katie lifted her own arms around Emily's back.

"It's okay," Emily muttered, rocking her back and forth like their mother used to when they were small children.

It was easy to feel helpless, wrapped up tightly in a comforting embrace. There was so much Katie wanted to say and from the puzzled look on Emily's face, so much she wanted to ask.

"Another nightmare?" Emily whispered, prompting a wordless nod from Katie.

The room was silent, which magnified the silence of the whole house. The two girls sat together on Katie's bed. Emily slipped a hand across Katie's face, wiping away the tears, brushing the sadness from her cheeks.

"Do you know why you're having nightmares again?" Emily asked, letting Katie lie back down and brushing her hair down against her head.

Katie shook her head. There were so many ways to lie to Emily; she'd perfected them over the years, which made it easier every time her sister asked a question that she couldn't avoid. Emily lay down beside her, the twin's face so close that Katie could smell the alcohol on her breath. She tucked herself further under the covers and rested her head against Emily's side, where the smell of tobacco filled her nose. She bit her lip to stop from crying again.

"Did you smoke?"

"Naomi did," Emily responded, "When we walked home."

Emily's pyjama t-shirt grew damp before Katie realised she was even crying. The tears escaped her eyelids without warning. Emily's hand reached down and held her face.

"I'm worried Katie," she sighed, "The last time in school, you had nightmares for months."

"I'm fine."

The words came out easily "I'm fine", but Katie knew the truth. She wasn't fine. She still wasn't fine. But in Emily's comforting embrace she found herself drifting off into a sleep that she hoped wouldn't be invaded by the nightmares that hung in the shadows.

**AN: Thanks for reading...care to leave a review? I'd like you to. Please.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author Note**_**: Thanks a lot for the reviews and comments, you know it's appreciated a million times over. I seem to be getting through these chapters pretty quick. I can't wait to write the next chapter because it's a big one, so I hope you'll stick with me.**

**I hope this next chapter is okay, it's really late and I'm falling asleep but I really wanted to post this before I go to bed. Enjoy!**

_**Disclaime**_**r: I don't own Skins...I do own Meg and half of Lily/Kaya though, pity I had to share the other half of Lily/Kaya and the whole of Kat with vix844. :-(**

On a normal Saturday, Katie woke up late and spent the morning lazing around the house. But with the return of her nightmares she found herself getting less and less sleep each night. She woke to the sound of birds tweeting outside the window, the clock reading barely six. It took all of her energy to attempt to fall back to sleep, but she failed miserably.

"You're just a tease," that rough voice filled her head, sending a shiver down her spine.

She didn't want to think about it. Not when she was awake. But it was the first thing on her mind the moment she woke with a start. Red, stained patches of her skin felt dry from the increased moisture. She looked to the sleeping form of her sister in the bed beside hers. Her mouth lay slightly parted as her breath moved between her lips. Katie wanted to smile, to laugh at her sister's sleeping habits. But something stopped her.

*

*

*

It felt like her bedroom was her home. Katie noted that she'd barely left it in days, except for necessities. She didn't want to face anyone. She hadn't done anything, or said anything, that made her want to avoid her friends. She just didn't want to listen to their childish dramas, or take part in their immature conversations. It wasn't always like that. But Cook was hanging around her like a bad smell and where Cook went, destruction followed.

"Emily, Katie," a small voice whispered after a tap on the bedroom door.

The twins shared a glance at the sound of their mothers voice. She rarely knocked on their door and rarely spoke in such a whisper around them. After assuring their mother it was fine to enter, she sat on the edge of Emily's bed and patted the covers in an attempt to get Katie and Emily to join her. The twins graciously accepted and waited until their mum's arms wrapped around their shoulders. Something was wrong, Katie could tell.

"Girls, I've got some bad news," she muttered, sadness on her face, "your dad's Aunt Maureen has died."

Hearing the woman's name made Katie jump, it had been years since they'd seen their dad's aunt and uncle. She thought about the kind woman who made them pancakes in the morning when they used to stay over at their house. She thought about the happy times she'd spent in the woman's presence and she found a sadness inside that was half unexpected.

"Uncle Trev rang up and the funeral is on Tuesday,"

The funeral. It hadn't occurred to Katie that they would have to attend, that they would have to spend the day pussy footing around the closer members of the family to Aunt Maureen. It was a sad occasion, but if Katie had any choice, she would not attend.

*

*

*

After Jenna Fitch left the room Katie lay down on her bed, clutching a heart shaped pillow to her chest. The room was silent, except for a few sobs coming from Emily's side of the room. It was only fair that Katie go over and hold her sister like she had held her when she cried. But she couldn't do it. She felt sick. Her stomach was turning in knots at the thought of the funeral.

"I can't believe it," Emily mumbled, "Aunt Maureen."

"I know," Katie sighed, her voice monotonous.

The sound of Emily's bedcovers being rearranged reached Katie's ears and she pushed herself up onto her elbows. She looked towards Emily, who's face was red with tears and a newly placed amount of anger.

"Sound like you mean it," she snapped, shaking her head in confusion.

"I do mean it," Katie responded, attempting to let the sadness leak into her words.

Her mind was elsewhere. It was the only explanation she could have given to her twin. Thankfully Emily didn't question why her attention wasn't completely with them in their room.

"You should tell mum or dad about the nightmares," Emily whispered after a long silence.

Katie's lips pressed together tightly, "I don't want to do that."

"But they can help."

"No, they can't," Katie responded.

"Then talk to me."

It used to be easy to tell Emily what was going on inside her mind. The memory of a simpler time made her want to cry with nostalgia. She bit the inside of her lip in an attempt to stop tears falling down her cheeks. She'd cried enough recently, she didn't want to cry anymore.

"I want to," Katie tried, her voice barely a whisper.

Emily's eyes stared at her, waiting expectantly for an expansion on her answer. The room grew silent and Katie noted how tight her chest felt. She wanted to tell Emily, she wanted to tell her everything that she was feeling. But the words caught up in her chest, running through the tears that had defeated her willpower to fall.

"Well?" Emily tried.

"I," Katie began, "There was…"

Tears, falling thick and fast down both cheeks like rivers forcing the hillside to change shape to accommodate them. Katie wiped her eyes, struggling to speak under the sobs. Emily moved to her side, resting her chin on Katie's shoulder as she wrapped her arms around her sisters waist.

"It's going to be okay," Emily muttered.

But Katie didn't think so. Her sister assumed the tears were for the loss of their beloved aunt. Whilst some fell for the woman who had taken them under her wing in times of need, the rest fell for the secrets she kept locked inside. She wanted to reveal them, to open the doors to her heart and liberate them, free it from their broken shell.

"No it's not, it's not going to be fucking okay," Katie snapped, not sure where her burst of anger came from, "You're fucking wrong."

"Katie please, I'm trying to stay positive."

She didn't know why she did it, but she laughed in her sisters face, "You're a fucking joke,"

"Don't say that," Emily cried, tears filling her eyes, "We've just lost our aunt."

"So?" Katie snapped, "She didn't fucking care about us."

"What is wrong with you?" Emily gasped, shaking her head.

"I hate you, that's what, I fucking hate you."

Never did three words have such strong effect. There was one side, the "I love you" and there was the other side, the "I hate you". Katie didn't know why, but the line between them was growing thinner with every passing moment she spent with her twin sister. She watched her sobbing on her bed. She was supposed to feel sympathy for the girl she'd shared her life with. But as her painful memories pushed all else from her brain, she couldn't help but feel hatred.

**AN: Thanks for reading this chapter...stay tuned for the next one, it should be good. So why not kill some time before then by reviewing?!**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author Note**_**: Thank you for the reviews...I've been wanting to write this chapter for ages, well, since I started the story which was only a couple of days ago, but still. This chapter is a big one and I hope you enjoy it...as much as you can anyway.**

_**Disclaime**_**r: I don't own Skins...I do own Meg and half of Lily/Kaya though, pity I had to share the other half of Lily/Kaya and the whole of Kat with vix844. :-(**

The funeral procession and service were simply done. A sadness clouded over the whole event that was rightly placed. Despite being quite close to their aunt and uncle, the five Fitch's weren't part of the main funeral party. Katie was thankful. She didn't want to have to face her relatives until absolutely necessary.

"Anyone want a drink?"

Katie turned on the spot, her heart thumping so fast she thought it might break from her chest. She looked up at her Uncle Trevor, the rest of the Fitch's joining her, pain tearing her heart in two. She didn't know what to say, or do. Thankfully Rob told him their drink orders.

"I need to go to the toilet," Katie muttered, quickly escaping the room before anyone could respond.

Tears she'd mostly managed to hold back during the funeral were now falling from her lids, pushing their way down her cheeks, flooding her face. Her body shook, the sobbing taking complete control. She didn't want to feel like she did. She wanted to feel sad for her aunt's passing, but nothing else. She wanted to cry for the woman that was kind to her, not for everything she had locked up inside. Katie quickly composed herself and left the toilets.

"There you are," a voice muttered.

The corridor was empty, Katie searched every inch of space for someone else to be there. But she was alone. She looked at her uncle, a grin on his face. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to face him.

"Still a tease?" he grinned, moving closer.

The wall hit Katie's back, the man still moving closer, capturing her in between the wall and his outstretched hands. She wanted to speak, but her throat grew dry. He leant against the wall and Katie couldn't help wonder why he was smiling when his wife had just died.

Katie found her voice, "I should go back inside."

"Not just yet," he muttered, leaning close to her.

Alcohol and tobacco hit her in waves, punching her in the stomach as the smell she'd always hated filled her senses. She didn't want to be there, she didn't want him to be stood so close. But she felt weak in his presence.

"You grew up well didn't you?" he slurred, "Still teasing the boys with your clothes."

Flinching at his touch, Katie felt the man's fingers travel along her collar bone and down the front of her chest. She silently regretted wearing a low cut shirt as the man's fingers cupped her womanly figure.

Katie turned her head to look towards the ground, "Don't, please."

"You've really developed well," he sighed, leaning so close she could almost taste the alcohol on his lips.

"Just leave me alone," she gasped, her heart still thumping loudly, drumming in her ear.

"You're just a tease aren't you?" he chuckled "Always have been, always will be,"

"Get off me," she wheezed, panic rising up in her chest as his fingers slid under her skirt, up the inside of her thigh.

"You'll get what's coming to you, a good fuck,"

She used up all of her willpower as she spoke as loud as she could, "Just get off me,"

Her uncle laughed, a spine chilling laugh that made her feel sick, "Why should I?"

"Because she asked you to."

The man pulled away, turning to the girl who looked so much like her sister. Emily stood at the end of the corridor watching the scene play out. Katie bit the inside of her lip to stop tears that threatened to fall. She wanted to run to her sister, to sob in her arms, but she was frozen in fear.

"Go back to the party Emily," their uncle muttered, "This doesn't concern you."

"It fucking does," Emily shouted, louder than she'd meant to.

Rob, Jenna and even James exited the main room, questions coming from their lips at the sight in front of them. Katie wanted to fall into her mother's arms, but she still couldn't move. She couldn't even look up.

"It was him wasn't it?" Emily muttered and Katie finally glanced at her sister.

She whispered a response, "What?"

"Was it him? Did you an…" Emily began, a note of realisation in her voice as she put two and two together, "Did you lose your virginity to him?"

There was a long drawn out silence. Katie couldn't look at her sister or her family anymore, she stared at the floor.

"What are you talking about Emily?" Jenna asked, shaking her head. "He's your uncle."

Emily's voice changed, disgust laced her words, "But you fucked him didn't you?"

The tears, now falling in their hundreds, slid down Katie's face. She felt sick. She felt disgusted with herself. Her whole family were staring at her, unable to take their eyes off the girl that had sex with her uncle. She tried to speak, but all that came out was a mixture of sobs and muttered half-words.

"Is this true?" Rob asked, looking to Trevor, searching the eyes of the old man standing only a metre from his daughter.

Uncle Trevor muttered something mostly incoherent, then attempted to step towards the exit. But Rob stopped him, holding him in front of him, waiting for an answer. Emily moved closer to Katie, who wiped her tearstained eyes.

"I thought you were a bit too friendly with men, but this is just sick."

The disapproval in Emily's voice sent a shiver down Katie's spine. It was now or never. She couldn't hold it in any longer. She couldn't hide the truth from her family. The words lay on the tip of her tongue and she did everything she could to make them fall from her lips.

"Do you really think I wanted that?" she sobbed, "That I wanted him to do that to me?"

It all happened so fast. Emily's eyes changed from hatred and disgust to sorrow so deep that Katie almost got lost in her eyes. Their mother's arms reached around her, muttering something that Katie couldn't hear, or didn't want to hear. And then the sound of skin hitting skin and the older man falling to the ground as Rob cursed, clutching the hand he'd used to hit his uncle.

**AN: Thank you for reading...got an opinion what just happened? Please tell me, I'd love to know.**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author Note**_**: Thanks a lot for all of your wonderful comments and reviews, this is the final chapter, I'd like to thank everyone for reading. This chapter seemed to go okay writing wise, but I did have a little trouble with the end which I'm not entirely happy with. But I think it'll be alright, I hope.**

_**Disclaime**_**r: I don't own Skins...I do own Meg and half of Lily/Kaya though, pity I had to share the other half of Lily/Kaya and the whole of Kat with vix844. :-(**

It was like the world stood still. Katie's knees felt weak and her back slid slowly down the wall as tears erupted from her eyes. Two pairs of hands were clamped around her, following her to the floor. People were talking, someone was screaming words, sobbing. But Katie drowned it all out. She wanted to stay focused on the corridor and what was going on, but she couldn't bring herself to stay connected with the people around her. She felt solace in the arms, which she could only assume belonged to her mum and sister. Rob's voice was deep, but laced with a vulnerability she'd never heard before. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but she did hear that. Then the room grew silent and all Katie could hear were her own sobs filling the void.

*

*

*

"Just take your time," a gentle, female voice muttered.

Katie stared as a mug of steaming hot coffee was placed in front of her. She sipped on the boiling liquid, despite wishing for a cup full of sugar to make the bitter taste sweeter. After a few mouthfuls she looked into the woman's eyes; green, soft, sympathetic eyes that made her feel at ease.

"I was twelve," she spoke, her voice cracked from tears, "Emily and I stayed over because mum and dad went out for the night."

She stopped talking, the words catching in her throat. It felt like she was betraying her past, betraying the person she'd become by sharing the sordid details of what happened. She hated her uncle with every fibre of her being, but something inside still made her feel like she was betraying him by telling the police.

"I remember," Emily filled the silence, "Aunt Maureen wasn't very well so she went to bed early and Un…Tr…that man put us to bed."

It took a moment, but Katie finally found her voice again, "That's right. He put us to bed, he said goodnight and he left the room."

The policewoman nodded, noting things down in a little black book as Katie spoke.

"What happened then?"

"I tried to keep Emily awake but she didn't want to get into trouble," Katie muttered, "He was a bit harsher than Aunt Maureen."

"Harsh in what way?" she asked.

"He shouted more," she replied, "If we did something naughty Maureen would say 'oh dear' and leave it at that, he would tell us we were being naughty in an angry tone."

"Was he ever violent?"

"No," Katie sighed.

She didn't want to lie, or make them think he was a different man than he was. But she was scared to tell them the truth. He'd never been violent in front of their aunt, or when she'd been with Emily. He was cleverer than that.

"Except," she trailed off.

"Except when, Katie?" the woman asked, a sympathetic smile passing over her lips.

"Except that night when he came into the room, he was very aggressive when I wasn't cooperative, he was slurring and from the smell I could tell he'd had a drink, it was so strong," Katie muttered, the words cutting her throat, stopping her in her tracks as that familiar smell filled her mind.

A hand reached down and covered Katie's, she looked up and into the mirror image of her twin sister's brown eyes. They were sad, but hopeful and they made Katie want to wrap her arms around her sister and kiss her cheek. Instead she turned her hand and gave Emily's a gentle squeeze.

"Alcohol and tobacco," she muttered, finishing her original train of thought. "I could feel him sitting on the bed so I looked up at him and he had this, this grin on his face; a smirk, like he was really happy about something."

"Do you remember your uncle being in the room?" the woman asked Emily, who just shook her teary face.

"Emily was asleep, I could hear her breathing heavily, sort of like a snore but not a proper one," Katie found a small chuckle fall from her lips, "His hand slid across my cheek and I thought he was just being friendly, he'd hug me all the time and I thought nothing of it, but then his other hand was on my, my…"

The words caught in Katie's throat again. It had been difficult to explain before, but now she'd reached the actual moment and it was even harder.

"Just tell the truth love," Jenna muttered from a seat across the room. Katie nodded.

"My breast, he put a hand on my left breast," she gasped, sobbing as she continued, "I asked what he was doing but he just said that I was growing up and that I dressed inappropriately for my age, he told me, he told me that I lead him on, I asked him when I did that. I was twelve, what did I know about leading people on? He said that because we still played childish games it was wrong because I was too grown up and I lead him on for letting him tickle me."

"He tickled us both." Emily muttered.

"Exactly, I didn't know any different, he'd always tickled us," she paused to take a deep breath, "I was sleeping in my underwear because it was the summer and it was warm, he told me I had to be punished for sleeping so provocatively, I didn't even know what that word meant, but then he removed my underwear and I knew something was wrong,"

"Oh God," Jenna gasped from her seat, tears filling her eyes.

"I begged him to stop touching me, to let me go to sleep, but he just said that I had to be punished for being a naughty tease," she swallowed a lump that formed in her throat, "I looked over to Emily but she was sleeping, I wanted to scream out and wake her, but it was bad enough that I had to go through that, I didn't want to bring her into it, I couldn't."

After a moments silence the policewoman jotted a couple more notes down, then turned back to Katie, "What happened then?"

"He, he removed his…he had some shorts on and he took them off," Katie whispered, "I remember that smell and the way the bed shifted when he straddled me, there was so much more heat between us than before and I just lay there frozen, they'd talked about sex at school but I knew as much as any other kid and then…"

Katie gasped as tears forced their way down her cheeks, Emily's fingers squeezing her hand tighter, supportively. It gave her the courage she needed to continue.

"It hurt so much, I could feel so much pain, he told me it was going to feel good soon and that I'd love it," she shook her head, "I wanted it to feel good so badly, but I just felt horrible and when he finally left the room I just lay there staring up at the ceiling, wishing I could turn back the clock and wake up Emily, but it was too late."

After a few more questions, the police woman explained the next steps. Katie felt her mum's arm on her shoulder as the two older women talked about the process.

The police woman smiled once more, "We're going to do everything we can to lock this man away."

It was a vague phrase that most would take as 'they'd try their best but might not get anywhere'. But it didn't matter to Katie. It was enough. Sitting there, surrounded by her family, surrounded by people who knew what had happened all those years ago was enough and with each passing breath she could feel the pressure inside her chest loosen and it got that little bit easier.

"If you need anything, just call," the woman muttered along with a goodbye.

Jenna was the only one who spoke up, "I think we'll be fine, she's got her family round her now."

And she did. Her mum and Emily both clung to her in a way they hadn't since they were small children. It felt good to be protected by the arms of her family. It felt good to know that everything was going to change. Katie Fitch was a bitch, she'd been a bitch for years and everybody knew it. But now they knew why.

**AN: Thanks again for reading, I really appreciate each and every one of you. 'Chocolate, cake and whatever else sweet and yum you can think' of for everyone!**


End file.
